‘People Who Say They Sleep Like A Baby, Usually Don’t Have Children’
It’s A Lovely Day; Ted’s New Una Junior Mattress Arrived!
As a first-time mum, almost 4 years ago, I was completely clueless about how quickly babies change and grow. Like, completely clueless. The rapid rate that Ted grew meant a lot of bed changing! Ted started out in a Moses basket, followed by a swinging crib, then a cot and now he is in a single bed (oh and did I mention lots of sleepless nights in bed with us)! WOW, now when you write it out like that, you realise just how many bed changes happened in just a few years.
When Ted was three, we decided to put him into a single size floor bed (low bed- as we knew he would fall out. He is such a wriggler) just in time for his new baby brother to arrive. ‘Father Christmas’ did his room up for Christmas and it was the most magical morning ever! His little face when he saw his big boy room was a special moment.
Ted’s Animal Themed ‘Big Boy’ Room
We were quite worried that bedtime would suddenly be a nightmare and so we put a gate on his bedroom door. Afterall I was 8 months pregnant and wanted as much sleep as I could before Albert arrived. Thank goodness I did as he still doesn’t sleep 15 months later! The first night of Ted being in his bed, Christmas day, was a dream. He didn’t even try and get out of bed. The second and third night he explored his room, because he could, and played in his ball pit for a while. We gently reminded him it was bedtime and after the two nights of exploring he didn’t anymore. How lucky are we!
When buying Ted’s bed, the one thing we really struggled with was the mattress! There were so many out there and were such a range in price! We decided to put an ‘add on’ when buying the bed as it was the cheapest option. When the mattress arrived, we were not overly impressed as it didn’t seem very comfortable and you could feel the springs. We knew that the mattress would need replacing before the recommended 7 years.
Since Ted turned 2 years old his sleep has been consistent, he sleeps from 7pm to around 6-7am (The dream right). However, around 6 months ago Ted started to take longer to fall asleep and would often wake in the night. We thought it may have been because Albert was waking him but when we asked, he said “I can’t get comfy”. We then thought it was time to get a good quality mattress.
Here is Ted just days before sleeping in his new bed! Age 2 years and 7 months. He looks so big. We gave his dummy to the fairies at the same time!
After doing lots of research online we decided that we wanted to find a mattress that would last years, not lose its quality and not be full of huge springs! We knew that we wanted a more natural mattress. We one that would last Ted through his school years. Whilst searching online we found a company called ‘Una Organic Ltd’. There mattresses are made from 100% organic cotton and wool. No springs involved and they were half the price of other mattresses made from the same materials! Click the link below if you want to check out their website now.
After talking with a member of the team who was extremely helpful, we decided to go for ‘Una Junior Mattress’. This mattress has 2 comfort layers, with a medium-firmer side perfect for young children aged 3-11 and medium-softer side for when they are between 12-17! I loved this idea and we were so excited! After making our order it took around 4 weeks to come. It arrived in a box (see image below) and was so easy to set up!
We couldn’t wait to get the new mattress out the box and get rid of the old mattress!!
In three simple steps, with two children running around, we managed to set up Ted’s bed in 10 minutes. We simply opened the box, unrolled the mattress and zipped the cover over the mattress.
Unbox & Unroll- Well done DADDY!
Another reason I love the Una mattress is it is good for the planet too. As well as being healthy for Ted, the mattress is kinder to the environment. The natural latex is taken from groves of sustainable Hevea trees and the cover is made from organic wool and cotton! It really is super soft, we all had a roll on the mattress before we put the fitted sheet on.
At bedtime I have always snuck into Ted’s bed for a little cuddle and a story. Lately I have found myself over welcoming my stay. Ted actually said “you can go now mummy”. I think I was a little too comfortable.
My Boy In His Cosy Bed
If you or your children are in need of a new mattress then please do check out the following links below, you will not regret it.
Here are my three MUST have hair products by ‘Mayraki Professional’
A few months after having my first son Ted, the weekly hair wash (yes, I only had time to wash it once a week, the rest of the time I was trying to catch up on my sleep) started to worry me! After running my fingers through my hair in the shower, I noticed a LOT of hair would come out, much more than usual! Then I would get out of the shower and brush my hair and you guessed it- even more would come out! After a few months this soon become less and as my hair still felt rather thick, I didn’t worry. If any of you know me, you will know how much hair I have!
This was just the hair from one brush!
I didn’t think much of it until the same thing started happening after having my second baby, Albert. But this time it didn’t stop and the amount of hair loss each wash and brush doubled! This time I noticed I was left with short parts around my hair line, which meant my ‘messy mum bun’ look was now just a mess!
Here is me modelling the ‘baby hair’
So instead of feeling sorry for myself I thought I would do some research to find some products that would not only make my hair feel and look amazing but would actually support the growth and thickness too. I will say, I am very lucky to already have such thick hair that my hair never appeared thin, but knowing my hair well I knew that it needed some TLC. I was slightly worried that I would not have the time, now being a working mum of two, but the products I’m going to share with you now are simple to use and do not take up any extra time. The one thing these new products have made me do, is PRIORITISE my hair care routine which in turn makes me feel fabulous.
I was so pleased when ‘Mayraki Professional’ offered to send me a range of their products. These are the following products I have been using for the past few weeks, I wanted to make sure I loved them before sharing them with you, and I can loudly confirm, I DO!
Let me tell you a little about the company before I share my haircare routine with you. Mayraki Professional’s mission is ‘to provide solutions for the endless hair and scalp problems experienced by many by women’. Right away this made me believe that the ‘hair loss’ and ‘dryness’ could be resolved! By what I love the most about these quality products is the price, they have worked hard to make them as affordable as possible!
Incase you can’t wait to check out their range here is the link to their website
Constantly improved to include the latest findings in hair and scalp care
Environmentally sustainable and cost-saving.
If you suffer with any of the following, I would highly recommend their range:
Damaged/frizzy hair
Split ends
Grey/white hair
Hair loss
Itchy scalp
Dandruff
Now the best part…
My Hair Care Routine:
‘Day to day’ shampoo (every time I wash my hair)
‘Ultra-repairing & Weightless Moisture Shampoo’
The perfect shampoo for regular washing. After using this my hair feels as if I’ve been to the salon! (Check out that shine in the photo below). This shampoo provides nourishment to the scalp and strands of hair, repairing any signs of damage such as dryness and split ends.
‘Silky Smooth Proactive Hair Repairing Treatment’ (I use this twice a week after the moisture shampoo)
This hair repairing treatment contains essential nutrients and smells lush. The all-natural solution helps to ‘heal’ your hair and leaves it feeling silky smooth.
I love the packaging too!
Once a Week Hair Treat! ‘Hair Growth & Anti Hair loss Shampoo Kit’
At first I was a little nervous to use this, thinking that it wouldn’t make much of a difference, it would take a lot of time and I wouldn’t be able to keep up the routine (usually my hair wash is super rushed and like I said once or twice a week) but I now look forward to doing this. I have made it part of my Friday night routine! I can honestly say that I have seen a difference with the thickness of my ‘baby hair’ around my hairline and the amount of hair I’m losing each wash has reduced significantly.
This particular kit is designed to thoroughly cleanse the hair and scalp and promote hair growth. It is enriched with natural ingredients such as castor oil, almond oil, and the highest concentration of ‘Artemisia argyi extract’ to boost hair regrowth, thicken and strengthen hair and prevent hair loss. It also smells lush and leaves my hair feeling so silky and after using this kit I do not even need to use conditioner!
Other items I would recommend and have loved using are the Microfiber Hair Towel Wrap andthe Mayraki Wooden Paddle Brush!
The Microfibre Hair WrapThis is by far the best brush I’ve had! David often steals it too…
Overall, I would highly recommend these products, thankyou Mayraki Professional for sending me these items during a time I needed them the most!
Check out that shine!I felt as if I had been to the salon!
Pr Products/ Gifted
Use Code ‘KAYLEIGH20’ for 20% off
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NOW before I begin Mummas, you need to know something: Breastfeeding doesn’t just happen!It takes work, a lot of work! It’s like when you first try to learn anything new, it takes practise and a lot of it!
My breastfeeding journey started over three years ago with our gorgeous Ted. I hadn’t really thought much about breastfeeding and the journey that was ahead of us. I wasn’t aware of how demanding it was going to be. I entirely underestimated the emotions that would come along with this journey too. You know those really lovely clips you see of newborns “crawling” across their mum’s chest to find the nipple and latch on. Or when the mum scoops up their tiny baby, places them near the breast and they just tilt their head back and latch on without any fuss or pain. WELL, when you find out that’s not the case everyone, it can be disheartening. BUT don’t let it be.
If only I knew how much support was out there back then and I knew the facts that I do now… if only. BUT, I’m not one to dwell on the past and beat myself up, because stopping mine and Ted’s breastfeeding journey after two weeks was right for us and I have no regrets at all.
Baby Ted, just a few days old. Happy and full.
Baby Ted a few weeks old. Happy and full.
Fast Forward Two Years When we found out that we were having another baby I knew that I wanted to try and breastfeed again. BUT this time, being slightly more experienced with this whole “baby thing”, I knew I needed to find out as much information as I could to be successful. I wanted ‘contacts’ so I could speak with the ‘experts’ when I needed help. I wanted to know the science behind breastfeeding; from how milk is produced, to how to get a baby to latch! I was determined and when I’m determined I put 100% effort in.
When David and I attended our ‘Hypnobirthing’ course during my pregnancy, a light suddenly switched on! We led a very busy, rushed but LOVELY life, and those few hours of learning each week helped us to slow down and enjoy the moment. Something I have wanted to do for a very long time. My daily meditation and affirmation relaxations made me love spending time with myself and I realised how amazing my body was. I mean my body was growing a human and my breasts were getting ready to feed him and keep him alive. WOW.
One of our evening sessions touched upon breastfeeding and we were introduced to “Mindful Breastfeeding”. We immediately booked onto this course which was the BEST decision we made. If I hadn’t of done so, I would not be 6 months strong into mine and Albert’s breastfeeding journey. This evening course helped to ‘build our confidence by preparing us for a calm and positive feeding journey’ (us meaning me, Albert AND David). It is so important to involve your partner as much as possible.
Mindful Breastfeeding is a programme created by ‘Anna Le Grange’ a lactation consultant. The aim of the course is to provide you with tools to use during your feeding journey, mental and physical. For me the MENTAL part was so important. I remember, during my first feeding journey, the overwhelmng feeling of worry, it made me feel anxious and tense. I knew I needed to feel the opposite this time, so this course sounded perfect.
The course was brilliant, we came home with a folder full of information. Somethings we already knew, but was a great reminder and some we didn’t, such as a baby being born with a tongue tie could affect their ability to feed (and thank goodness we did know this). We also had a big shiny glossary of names and contact details which were very handy!
January 22nd 2020 Around 1am, just after Albert was born, the Homebirth Team spotted an obvious tongue tie. At this point we didn’t panic but made the decision, that at an acceptable time, we would ring the ‘Feeding First Tongue Tie Clinic’ to get Albert booked in for a consultation/snip. This was one of the contacts that had been recommended on our course. Thankfully we had this information as they confirmed that he had a 100% tongue tie (the waiting list at our local hospital was up to two weeks- we couldn’t wait that long)! The process was straightforward and quick. They made sure we were all comfortable and understood the procedure, and within minutes it was successfully complete. During which I popped to the toilet while David stayed with him. Personally, this was something I didn’t want to watch. As soon as the cut was complete I was back. I popped Albert to the breast and it felt like a completely different latch! I could feel the milk draining from my breast which was amazing! When a baby has a tie snipped they have to learn how to use their tongue again, this whole feeding process feels completely different to them. The only way to heal and soothe the tongue is to feed, feed, feed and that is exactly what I did. My breasts and nipples were feeling very sore at this point but I knew I needed to get through it with painkillers, cream, cool flannels and lots of yummy snacks (Skip to the last page to find out about the most AMAZING cookies). Nipple cream became my best friend at this point too.
We continued to feed regularly all day and night which was exhausting. At this stage I depended on my breastfeeding affirmations which I had hung around my room to remind myself how amazing I was! We were both learning how to feed together and some feeds felt effective and pain-free whereas others I struggled to get him to latch correctly and we both ended up getting frustrated. When this happened I passed him to David so I was able to close my eyes, breathe and have some space. This really did help me to relax l and then I was ready to try again. One thing I want you to hold onto, like I have, is to take one feed at a time. If the feed was not successful, both have a break and try again later.
I hung my Mindful Breastfeeding affirmation cards on string and added some fairy lights
We continued like this until day three when my milk came in. My breasts were already tender and my nipples were sore HOWEVER the pain and the engorgement I had after a few hours sleep was horrendous. I knew that something wasn’t right. I remember this stage with Ted being uncomfortable but not agony. I knew that I needed to feed through the pain, as Albert draining my breasts would help. That alongside other tips we learnt on our course; gentle hand expression, hot and cold compress, warm showers etc. At this stage my breasts were so engorged and solid that Albert couldn’t latch. We tried every position possible and none were successful. I knew that I needed support and that was when we decided to contact ‘Sophie Burrows’ a very experienced Lactation Consultant who is truly amazing! She was with me, at my home, within hours. When she got to me she explained that I was experiencing ‘extreme engorgement’ and that if it was left any longer I would become very unwell (my GOSH was I engorged, I only had to tilt my head down slightly for my chin to knock them which was agony. A slight change from my smaller breast just hours before). Sophie was professional, knowledgeable and so kind! She stayed at my home for over four hours, she was determined for Albert to latch from both breasts to drain milk so I felt comfortable again.
I was worried, from my previous experience, that Albert would only latch on one side (I found one side much more comfortable and lacked confidence with the other). But before long, with the correct verbal guidance and encouragement, we had managed to feed from both sides. I felt overwhelmed, thankful and SO proud! We ended our session as a family with a relaxation script. This took place as I fed Albert and David held my hand. It was just wonderful! As soon as she got home she typed her notes from our session and emailed them over, part of her notes read “Kayleigh and David are exceptional parents who worked together really well during my visit. It was an honour to have been part of their day and supporting them through this stage. They were attentive to Alberts needs and Albert is clearly very content and well cared for new human”. As you can imagine I sobbed reading these lovely comments.
You can find this magical lady on Instagram at @theboobladyibclc
I continued to feed, feed, feed to settle my engorgment and regulate my milk supply. And to be quite honest with you, I didn’t feel as if I did anything else apart from feed and it was so tough. A tip from Sophie was to let go on the clock/time, don’t worry about how long he was feeding for, how often or what time of the day/ night it was. Attend his needs and go with it. This worked for me a lot. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the ‘bumpy ride’. However, the mum guilt of spending less time with Ted soon hit me. This I was not prepared for. Luckily David had a full two weeks off of work and I was able to, just for this short while, focus on mine and Alberts feeding journey and I’m so glad I did.
Sophie took this photo of us. She is also a photographer and said this was a ‘picture perfect’ moment. Just looking at this photo makes my feet curl- the agony I was in!
Mastitis (a VERY low time for me) A week or so later my left boob began to feel tender on one side. I didn’t think much of it and I just continued to feed as normal. That night was one of the hardest nights to date. I felt as If a bus had hit me. My whole body hurt, I had an intense headache, a high temperature and as you can imagine I struggled to lift my head off the pillow. The pain when feeding was a solid 9/10! My breast had become red and hot and at this point I knew it was mastitis (again I learnt about this on my course). The best thing to do when you get this infection is to feed as much and as often as you can, drink plenty of water and rest.
The next day was hard, very hard. I dosed up on pain relief and got through the day with a newborn and a toddler- alone! I didn’t think the pain could get any worse, but it did. That night was HORRENDOUS, the infection had spread to both sides and on top of everything else I felt dizzy, which made even lifting Albert impossible (David was having to pass him to me each feed). I went to my GP who confirmed mastitis and prescribed me with a course of antibiotics. And as you do, when you go to the doctors, you perk up- typical! I explained that I felt slightly better, so she told me to wait another 24 hours, as everything I was doing was great, and if I felt any worse then take the antibiotics. I went home and that afternoon I felt like I was winning at life. I managed to get both boys to nap at the same time which meant I could rest. Unfortunately I had a bad turn, my whole body started to shake and shiver and my temperature went sky high. I rang one of my lovely friends who lives down the road from me and sobbed. Being the absolute goddess she is, she threw her toddler in the car, came and got my prescription, traveled to the doctors, waited over half an hour for the medication and dropped it back to me. I was so thankful for her and also so thankful that the boys continued to nap.
Over the next 12 hours things progressed further and I became more unwell. I went to the doctors again and they sent me straight to the hospital with suspected sepsis. This was not fun! I took Albert with me so I could continue to feed him (I had been feeding him every 1.5 hours since the infection started). The hospital staff were amazing and gave me an extra boost of antibiotics and checked me all over. Thankfully, the hours I was there, the medication started to work and slowly I started to feel better and I was able to go home (mc donald’s on the way home obv).
David was AMAZING and did everything for me and the boys until I felt 100% better. It took around 10 days to feel like myself again. I finished the 14 days of antibiotics and after a few days I started to feel sore again. I didn’t leave it this time! Big shout out to Abbie, my goddess friend, who demanded I went back to my doctor for more antibiotics (we all need a friend like her). The doctors prescribed me another 7 days over the phone which did the job! I was pain free woohoo.
Ladies sometimes you can feed through BUT please listen to your body, if things are getting worse then get antibiotics before you get as poorly as I did! Touch wood, I haven’t had an infection since and our journey has been very positive. Albert feeds very often which is exhausting, but the wonderful cuddles make you forget. Sleep is overrated anyway (I joke)!
Please Remember A final reminder, FED is best. I for one have experienced both bottle and breastfed and both of my boys are thriving! The last few months have been great as we are now in a good routine and touchwood have not had any other complications. You have to do what is best for YOU and your family, just remember if breastfeeding is something you really dreamed of doing, like me, there is so much support out there. Don’t suffer alone, please. Don’t ever feel guilty for making whatever decision gets your baby fed and keeps them healthy and alive! Im not a qualified professional BUT I do have tons of experience and I would love to help where I can. Alternatively please do contact Sophie Burrows (@theboobladyibclc on instagram)!
Breast Pads- a must have!
Another note for new breastfeeding mummas: Be aware of leakage! It seems like something people joke about, but I’m talking tops being soaked, bed sheets needing to be changed leakage. Ted’s favourite sentence “MUMMY YOU ARE LEAKING AGAIN!”
I have used a variety of disposable breast pads which were good but needed changing regularly and I didn’t like that most are not biodegradable! I did some research and found ‘Bamboo Reusable Breast Pads’ by Mama Designs and now there is no looking back, I just wish I found them sooner! They are super soft and ultra absorbent! @mamadesigns on instagram https://www.mamadesigns.co.uk/product/bamboo-reusable-breast-pads-breastfeeding-essentials-from-mama-designs/
Nursing and Pumping
Albert and I are 6 months into our breastfeeding journey where he has been exclusively breastfed. I did not want going back to work to impact on our special journey, I really do love every feed with Albert. The love and closeness, even at 3am, is undescribable. I go back to work in September for two days a week and I want to continue to feed. I am often asked how long I will feed for, and to be honest I don’t have an answer. Right now everything is perfect and I will continue to feed until the time is right to stop. I began researching tips and tricks for pumping/ going back to work. I contacted the lovely Sophie Burrows again who gave me useful links along with many tips and recommendations of her own. She really does bend over backwards to help.
My work has been very cooperative and will continue to support our feeding journey. This will mean pumping several times a day at work in a “safe” place where I feel calm and relaxed. https://www.laleche.org.uk/expressing-your-milk/
Choosing a Breast Pump
Pumping and Feeding Essentials
Medela, Medela, Medela. If you have not heard of them, then you should have! I first purchased a single medela breast pump in 2017 just before baby Ted was born. It was great! For someone who didn’t have any help or support with feeding/pumping at the time, I was able to follow the clear instruction, set the pump up and express my milk! As I said above our journey didn’t last very long, but the two weeks that I did use this pump, it was fantastic.
Since having Albert I haven’t needed to pump until now- prep for going back to work in Septmber! As Albert has fed so regularly (every 2.5-3 hours) and on both sides since birth (I know- determination right there) I have got a strong milk supply, which is great! On my working days I will be away from him for 10 plus hours (don’t- I can’t bear this thought right now) which means I will need to pump and the quicker this process takes the better.
Medela have sent me their ‘Swing Maxi Flex 2-Phase Double Electric Breast Pump’ which is honestly amazing. Not only is it a double pump which straight away halves the time that I need to pump, but it is clinically proven to get 11% more milk! When I first tried my pump I was shocked at how quickly the bottle started to fill. I find I like to have the pump on a high suction setting and even then it feels very comfortable. I really like that the pump comes with two different sized/shaped breast shields as Medela rightly states ‘every mum is different and every breast shape is unique’. This is very unique to their brand. With the two different sized shields I am able to use the bigger shield when my breasts feel full, instead of feeling uncomfortable in the smaller shield- which is genius! You can also make sure that the shield is comfortable by moving/twisting them around until you find a position that is comfortable and effective to express.
The pump has two settings, the first is the faster setting which mimics your babies quick suck. This starts the milk flow (your let down) and a slower second setting, which mimics when your baby is drinking the milk. This makes the whole experience enjoyable and realistic. I would recommend this pump/brand to any mum looking for a decent and affordable pump.
What is included:
1 x Swing Maxi motor unit
1 x mains adapter
2 x 150 ml bottle with lid
2 x bottle stand
2 x PersonalFit Flex™ connector
2 x PersonalFit Flex™ breast shield size 21 mm
2 x PersonalFit Flex™ breast shield size 24 mm
1 x IFU Swing Flex™/Swing maxi Flex™
1 x Quick Card
Other essential items: Quick Clean Microwave bags- after every pump you need to sterilised each part of the pump that touches the breast or milk. These bags are so simple! Pop all cleaned items inside, add 60ml of water, seale and put in the microwave for a few minutes (depending on the microwave). What i love the most about these bags is that they can be used 20 times. There is even a ‘check box after each use’ on the back!
Medela PureLan 100 Nipple Cream (a little goes a long way)
Medela Breast Milk Storage bags–they are for storing milk in the fridge/ freezer to use at a later point. They are sealed bags and have space to write the time and date.
Breastfeeding Snacks It is so important that your diet nourishes you, gives you energy and hydration so that you can produce enough milk for your baby. And that my friend means you need to have SNAAAAACCCKS. The more you eat, the more energy you will have too. Those night feeds don’t get any easier (Yep I’m still having the pleasure of several night feeds). Snacks have got me through them!
Who loves cookies? Have you ever heard of cookies that can help maintain or increase your breast milk supply? It really is a thing. Lactation cookies are cookies that contain galactagogues! Galactagogue is an ingredient that helps boost your milk supply naturally.
I was so excited to receive my order from the lovely company, ‘Boobbix’. Boobbix makes and sells delicious award winning lactation cookies, bars and drinks for breastfeeding and pumping mums. What is so wonderful about this business is an ‘ordinary’ mum, just like me, called Katie started up after having a few wobbles when pumping. she felt she wasn’t pumping enough milk for her 10 month old daughter and that she was becoming more fussy at the breast. She set out to find natural ways to help boost her supply and the rest is history! How wonderful is that.
Most of their ingredients are organic and their recipes use nutritious ingredients such as nut butters and coconut oil. They have four different types of cookies: Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip, Raisin and Oatmeal, Chocolate Chip and Oat and Double Chocolate! The Peanut Butter ones are UNREAL! They also make protein bars which are delicious and constrain an amazing 7g of protein per bar! But my favourite product is their Hot Chocolate drink. It is rich, dark and so creamy! Such a treat.
Please do check out their website for all of their products, they really are so delicious! Here is their website https://www.boobbix.co.uk
Writing isn’t something children should only begin at school or when they are able to hold a pencil “correctly”. Mark making starts from a very young age.
Encourage your children to make their mark! From a young age children have a natural desire to explore and experiment. They adore sensory and physical experiences, so why not get them mark making as much and as early as possible?
This can be anything from:
gliding pens across a white board
smearing paint onto paper
scraping chalk into pavement or blackboards
sand or glitter running through their fingers.
Mark making is much more than just a “a scribble” or “ having the perfect grip”. A child begins to make sense of the world through mark making. It is a child’s journey towards their writing. One day it will suddenly *click* and your child will realise that they control the marks they make and each mark has meaning. This is a wonderful journey to watch. Your child will begin to thrive for sure!
Model Model Model The only way a child will explore mark making from a young age is if it is modelled, they have the materials to explore and if it is fun!
Children will begin sharing their thoughts and feelings while mark making. One of my favourite things to do with Ted (my eldest son) is to give him a large area to draw on such as a chalkboard, a roll of paper or the bottom of the tuff tray, along with a variety of pens, chalks and crayons. Lay the items in front of your child and watch the magic begin. The more we have done this the more detailed and interesting his marks have got. He is now able to tell me stories as he writes explaining and sharing what he has drawn.
Today’s drawing session with Ted on the side of his dolls house using chalk (see picture below): “Here is my angry snake with two pointy teeth. It will eat all these. Here is the dragon and fire in the big dark cave”. Looking at the marks he made I could see long lines, a few circle type squiggles and lots of dots where he bashed the pen so hard the chalk was splatting over the picture on our faces. I sat, I watched, I listened and told him how amazing his drawing was. He was very proud and couldn’t wait to show his Daddy when he finished work.
Ted’s long purple line is the snake. The squiggle at the bottom is the cave. The blue at the bottom is the snakes sharp teeth! The dragon is the wiggly line and the fire is the blue cross mark above the dragon!
Holding a Pen Correctly ‘correctly’ meaning whichever grip best suits them and feels most natural at that time in their journey! If it looks like they are struggling and it isn’t comfortable- help them try something else. If not, leave them to it!
Holding a pen and controlling it with such precision is VERY hard, especially for little hands that do not have the muscle strength needed just yet! It also involves hand-eye coordination- a lot more than just scribbling! It helps to strengthen their muscles in their tiny fingers and hands by developing their fine motor skills. Without lots of fine-motor based activities children will not be ready to make small controlled movements whilst holding a pen/pencil/crayon etc.
Here are some activities you can try at home to strengthen their muscles
The Whole Arm:
Large painting and drawing at easels
Using equipment such as rakes, brooms and shovels
Bouncing and throwing a ball
Climbing – anything that uses upper body strength
Anything that involves pushing, pulling and large arm movements
Whole Hand:
Spooning activities e.g beans/rice/marbles/pom-poms and a spoon. Move the objects from one bowl to the other.
Using a spray bottle to water plants/paint- splat different sounds/numbers and children have to say what they see
Playdough, rolling, using cutters etc.
Pouring activities, moving water from one object to another
Pincer Grip (thumb, index and middle finger)
Using tweezers and tongs to transfer small objects
Threading beads onto a lace
Building blocks including Lego
Making small objects with Playdough
Some of mine and Ted’s favourite fine motor activities:
threading cheerios on dry spaghetti
helping to peg out the washing
balancing marbles onto golf tees
dressing teddies in clothes with buttons/ zips
board games that use small pieces
picking seeds out of fruit or veg
playing different instruments
telling stories with finger puppets
2020 I feel that the world we are living in and the technological available, means we do not write as much as we should! Being a teacher I model writing daily, however, for people who work in an office at a laptop all day could go weeks without writing. I mean shopping lists can be typed on our phones or verbally said out loud to Alexia! If you are one of these people make a point of writing your shopping list, modelling out loud to your children so that they soon learn that writing has meaning and purpose!
Mark making should not be stressful, it should be fun!
I wrote some items I needed to buy in front of Ted, instead of on my phone.
When? It can be spontaneous or you can have special time for it. Eg: writing easter cards to the family. I often involve Ted in my writing-“right Ted I need to write a list for shopping can you help me? I need eggs and milk, what do you need? Can you write that down for me please”. It might be squiggles and lines but here we are writing for a purpose and giving meaning to the marks we make!
Where? Everywhere! Mark making can happen anywhere and at any time. It doesn’t have to be pen and paper at a table. We often make marks outside using sticks, rocks or whatever we find. Use mud, use sand at the beach, use the water from puddles.
There is nothing wrong with being sat down and having a ‘writing station’. Many early years settings will have ‘writing tables/ stations’ so you could set up a table/ area at home too. Include pots/ baskets and storage full of paper, pens, notepads, hole punch and string, chalk and chalkboards, stencils etc. Whatever you feel will inspire your child. This way it is always accessible to them, not just when you decide to finally get the bits off the top shelf in the kitchen cupboard on a rainy day.
Writing Station A carry caddy full of writing materials A writing area in our living room- we have mark making opportunities everywhere!
Chalkola Recently we were kindly gifted a beautiful set of 30 chalk pens and a cute wooden chalk board from a company called ‘Chalkola’. This inspired me to set up more opportunities for writing around the house. I bought some ‘Black Board Magnetic Chalk Paint’ from B&Q and painted a wall in the kitchen and the top of Ted’s table in the playroom. I modelled using these areas by drawing pictures, telling stories, writing down items I needed to buy and writing notes to daddy in front of Ted. I left baskets with chalk pens and magnetic letters in those areas and within minutes Ted was mark marking independently. Having an area for him to draw in the kitchen means I can keep an eye on him while cooking/washing up. Chalk pens are also great on glass and easily wipe clean. We have been drawing rainbows on our front windows which Ted has enjoyed. The chalk pens work well in the tuff tray, we have drawn racing tracks and practised writing our numbers. These chalk pens are thick which is great for little hands. There is every colour, bright and pastel. They are very good quality! Please do have a look at their amazing products at www.chalkola.com if you would like to purchase any of their products then use the discount code ‘KAYLEIGH10’ to receive 10% off your order. Alternatively they sell their products on Amazon- again you can use ‘CHALKOLA10’ for a 10% discount.
Our beaut chalk pens! Rainbow on our front window using the chalk pens
I REALLY hope this has been useful and some of these ideas inspire you! Please do message me if you have any questions or to share your ideas that we can try at home too!
Since I’ve had a lot of interest in how we prepared Ted for letting go of his biggest comfort, I thought a blog post might be useful to some of you.
In bed having some chill time with my brother Albert (5 dummies in hand)
Now this isn’t something we did much research about or felt that we needed to. We figured we would know when the time was right. I knew we needed to make sure we were ready as a family and most importantly Ted was ready too (not that he said he was ready, we just picked a time that we knew he would cope. I mean if we were to wait for him to tell us he would still have a dummy at 18 I’m sure)!
We had the gorgeous baby Albert 4 months ago now (wow) and many times while pregnant I thought to myself ‘that dummy needs to go’ or ‘you look way too old to have a dummy’’ but being realistic it was not a good time to let go because…
1. Durrr I was pregnant and was trying to survive life with a toddler!
2. Ted really did/does love his dummy.
3. There was already going to be lots of change having to share his mummy and daddy and his comfort would be important during this period.
As you may already know I have been a trained teacher for 7 years now, the last 5 teaching within Early Years (ages 4-7). And of course this means I know the impact a dummy could/does have on a child’s speech development! ‘Dummy talk’ is actually a thing and not something us teachers just say! Ted has a vast range of vocabulary, is confident talking in sentences and loves telling stories and I didn’t want anything to hinder his speech journey. Having his dummy in his mouth affected the way he pronounced some of his words and I didn’t want this to become a habit. TOP TIP: We always told him we couldn’t understand or hear him with his dummy in and therefore he soon realised he had to take it out when he wanted us to listen or have a conversation. Overall we knew the time was right to say goodbye!
We didn’t plan on planning a date or a day far in advance but, what we did decide to do was reduce the amount of time he had a dummy from when his speech began to develop rapidly around 2 years old.
As a family, including Ted, we decided on these three phrases “dummy car” “dummy bed” and “dummy pot”. We bought a ‘special’ pot that we kept in his bedroom (a little grey plastic ‘pencil’ pot from Wilkos) and he knew that every time he left the room the dummy went into the pot. Don’t get me wrong I’ve lost count of the amount of battles we had actually doing this, especially when he was still feeling sleepy in the mornings. BUT we stuck to it as much as we could… I mean we are only human! We also made sure there was always at least one dummy in the car and that’s where it stayed!! Ted soon realised that he enjoyed our chats and games of “what do you see Teddy” in the car, that he often didn’t bother putting his dummy in, unless of course he was tired and wanted to chill.
From January, when Albert was born, until March, Ted matured rapidly. He changed from a toddler to a little boy in front of our eyes (he really did step up and become a brave, thoughtful big brother). This sparked an idea that it would go on his 3rd birthday. I knew we had planned a super fun day for him with lots of surprises, gifts and games and if any day ,especially during lockdown, this would be the “best day” to say goodbye… we hoped.
I wanted to go with the idea that there were little fairies (or princesses as Ted refers to them as) who would take his dummies and give them to the little babies who needed them and in return they would leave a gift or two OR THREE (Mum guilt)! I mean this isn’t a “NEW” idea but I knew I would need to make it personal and magical for Ted as this was a BIG deal!
How we did it:
We ordered a wooden (decorate your own) ‘fairy door’ from Hobby Craft along with some glitter, paint and sequins. Costing under £10! The package arrived and it was a special delivery for Ted! HOW EXCITING (You really do need to do a bit of acting and make this experience magical and real- if you know me personally this was right up my street)!
I “read” a letter from the Fairies explaining Ted’s special job (you could type a letter if you wish but Ted cannot read yet so the address label on the box did the trick along with my ‘excited storytelling voice’) ! It went a little like this …
“Dear Ted, we are the dummy fairies and we have sent you a secret fairy door. We need your help to make this door magical by decorating it however you like. In the box you have got paint, glitter, sequins.
Once you have decorated the door the magic can begin. We hear that very soon you are going to be a big boy- you are turning 3!! When girls and boys turn 3 it is important that they give their dummies to the little babies that need them, just like Albert! Once the door is dry leave it somewhere in your house (he chose the playroom) up high on the shelf and wait for the magic to begin.
Ted was so excited by this and it was a lovely crafty activity to do together, even if he was “done” after 5 minutes and left me to finish painting and tidying… Typical 2 year old style.
The door lived In the playroom and this was great as it reminded us to ‘chat’ and remind Ted what was going to happen. We rang family members and told them all about the fairies. Ted would quite often say “I don’t know what will happen” mainly because he didn’t want this to happen (very normal)!
Two weeks before his birthday we did a countdown chart (simply a title “the final countdown” on a4 paper with 14 numbered post-its). Every morning Ted would pull off a number and tell us how many sleeps we’re left until the big day! He loved doing this and after a few days it would be the very first thing he mentioned when he woke up in the morning (this could also be just as exciting without a birthday, I mean its not everyday fairies come through a magical door and leave you gifts)!
A week before the big day we received a “call” from the fairy who sent Ted a message
“Don’t forget we will be coming in 7 sleeps, well done for being such a brave and kind boy. Because of this we are sending you a special treat in the post”.
The next day we had a “Donut HomeKit ” arrive from Donut time UK (would highly recommend). Ted is obsessed with donuts, dairy free due to his allergy, and these have been hard to get hold of during lockdown. So this dairy free kit was a special treat for sure! Ted was so excited by this package (as were we) and again we had a chat about the fairies coming very soon.
My yummy doughnuts
The night before
Just before bedtime we went on a ‘dummy hunt’ just to double check there were not any hiding outside of the pot (make sure you thoroughly check at this point, as we clearly didn’t)***
**Fast forward ‘Post Fairies Day 6’-
Ted was having ‘chill time’ on his ipad quietly in his room… so quietly I did wonder… and yep that right, he had found a dummy at the bottom of his ball pit! Ted’s little dummy fix didn’t last very long. “Silly fairies forgot this dummy” quickly whipping it out his mouth “to the post box you go” (this will make sense when you read on haha)! We also used this opportunity to give the fairies his bottles as this was also another item he was ready to let go of.
Together we set the magical fairy door outside his bedroom with his bottles and dummies just in front. Ted took one dummy to bed for the last time (until his new comfort arrived from the fairies). He explained that he was feeling sad and he didn’t want them to go yet. We told him that they had to and it’s okay to feel sad and gave him a big hug. We also reminded him that he would get a special gift to replace his dummies. Simply reflecting how they feel is sometimes all they need (along with a good old cuddle).
That night the Fairy came, took his dummies in the pot and his bottles and left three gifts: animal bath bombs (ted’s favourite), dairy free chocolate buttons and three gorgeous small animals Muslins that he could have instead of his dummies. The reason we let Ted take one dummy to bed was because he hasn’t had his replacement comfort yet and we didn’t want him to have nothing in bed with him that night. Along with the gifts, an envelope was left, with the fairies’ address and a special note that said “Please post Ted’s last dummy”. Ted was so excited with the three gifts and the magic of it all that he surprisingly, popped the dummy inside and later that day happily posted it in the post box at the end of our road (not sure what the postman thought)!
We both decided that if/ when Ted asks or gets upset about his dummy we would repeat the same sentence “It is okay to be sad but you’re three now”.
That night he told us he wanted his dummy and that he felt sad. We reflected his feelings and repeated the sentence while giving him his new comfort to cuddle.
It is now two weeks after his birthday and I can count only on one hand the amount of times he’s asked for or even spoken about his dummy. He takes slightly longer to fall asleep but has taken this whole situation in his stride and we are SO proud of him!
I really do hope this gives you some idea of how you could let go of your little ones dummy. For Ted I knew that if we went “cold turkey” this would be traumatic for him. Ted thrived from having the count down and a “real” purpose as to why the dummies needed to go.
Please do share your dummy stories with me. I would love to hear them all!
Home Birth Our Birthing Experience We Worked For And Dreamed Of
Albert (Bertie) – Baby Number 2
I have suffered with endometriosis since the age of 13 where I have had two operations and was told I would need support becoming pregnant: I now have two gorgeous boys and I didn’t require any help; have faith, believe in your body, it’s incredible!
As myself, my partner (David) and our Son Ted were getting glammed up for Ted’s christening and 2nd birthday celebration I decided to do a pregnancy test as that week I had been experiencing cramps (something I often do as having endometriosis means my cycles are very irregular and painful). We didn’t think there was a chance I was pregnant as you can imagine having a toddler and both working, well it doesn’t leave you much time to create babies. Anyway, five minutes before leaving we discovered that Ted was going to be a big brother! What an amazing way to start his birthday celebrations with our whole family. We were both in complete shock but of course VERY excited.
The next 9 months flew by and as a family we throughly enjoyed watching baby Albert (bump) grow as we prepared our lives for his arrival. We ensured Ted was fully aware and included: he came to all of the scans, helped us choose his name, decorated his nursery and bought him some gifts. We were determined to make this the most enjoyable pregnancy and birthing experience after previously having a very long, painful and traumatic birth where I suffered physically and mentally for quite some time.
We decided to attend a full Hypnobirthing and Mindful Breastfeeding course which opened our eyes and made us realise we were in control of our birthing experience. We gained a full understanding of the science behind labour and how the woman’s body works. Trust and listen to your body- your body and baby know exactly what to do. (If you are wanting to breastfeed please attend this course I’m two weeks in, after hitting many barriers, but I feel I’ve smashed it and finally its getting easier. Attending this course made us realise how demanding and hard it will be but also how amazing it is for you and your baby. I didn’t feed for long with Ted and that was right for us. This time I was determined and its been very successful. Sophie Burrows (feeding consultant) is AMAZING! My milk came in and we were struggling! She came to visit me at my house on day 4 and supported me with my painful, engorged breasts- she didn’t leave until I was happy and confident to continue mine and Albert’s breastfeeding journey @theboobladyibclc on Instagram).
The course also meant that David and I got to spend a few hours a week relaxing and learning together which was lovely- date nights!
We took this very seriously and practised all the different tools we would need to get through our birth as naturally as possible. We decided to have a home birth with a pool which excited us both very much!
Our “due date” came and went and baby was still very toasty inside showing no signs of coming soon. I was offered a sweep and despite not wanting any examination I decided to accept considering we were now 41 plus 4 days, my bump was huge and my toddler was very demanding.
The sweep was successful as I was already 1-2 cm open and within half an hour of the midwife leaving my house the period type cramps started and I couldn’t of been happier.
I had the best day with my aunty and son walking around a local park with animals , we went to costa and got ourselves yummy rolls and sandwiches which we then ate at home. After a doctors appointment for my son (like you do in labour) we arrived home around 2:30 pm where my surges became stronger and more regular. I spent my time on my ball in the garden with my son and aunty timing each surge, at this point they were very regular coming every 4-5 minutes lasting around 30-60 seconds. I used my calm and surge breathing and felt I was managing very well.
I decided it was about time I rang the home birth team considering my app told me to leave for the hospital immediately! They were amazing, Debbie asked if I was managing okay and to ring back in an hour if anything changed. They suggested to get the pool up and ready so I decided this was a good time to ring David and my Mum- “ITTTTTSSSS TIME FAMILY”!
At this stage, by 5:30 pm the surges were anything between 3-5 minutes apart- we decided Ted would be best at Nanny’s for a sleep over (this is why we had preferences and not a plan – sometimes you just don’t know what’s going to happen or how you will feel at that time). Ted shouting “wakkkkkke up mummy” while I breathed through my surges was not ideal! This meant that me and David could focus on the calm birth we wanted and had practised for throughout my pregnancy.
As soon as it was just us I immediately relaxed, got in the zone and the labour started to progress quickly. The house was warm, the pool was up and slowly filling with water, my birthing playlist was gently playing, the fairy lights were on and the lantern was lit and at the end of the drive so the team could easily find us (call the midwife vibes)! At 7pm the lovely Emma rang me as she had just started her shift! She was going to be the lady to deliver our son- very exciting! We had a chat and she decided it was time for her to make her way to ours, she advised that I didn’t get in the pool yet and just used my breathing and TENS machine which I did. In the meantime David’s mum dropped us over battered sausages and chips and between surges I ate my dinner in our calm, candle lit front room. I was feeling so relaxed and in control that we both didn’t realise how far into labour I already was. Emma arrived shortly followed by Liz- they were both such lovely ladies and settled quickly into our home. A quick check of baby’s heart rate and a few wees later I decided to get in the warm pool which felt amazing! I’ve always dreamed of a water birth but unfortunately didn’t experience anything like it with my first so this was pure bliss. David got me through the whole labour; He focused me on my breathing when things got intense, rubbed my back with massage oil, held my hand, fed me sweets and drinks. I couldn’t of been more relaxed and felt so lucky to have him with me. I didn’t think it was possible to fall even more in love with him- but I did! I stayed in the pool for the next 4 hours where babies heart rate was checked every 15 minutes. I didn’t want any vaginal examinations. I believed in my body and I knew I would know when it was time to meet our son. The intensity grew over the next few hours. I kept active and regularly went to the toilet (this was the hardest part, getting in and out of the pool, as the surges were far more intense out of the water). But of course David and the ladies held my hands and told me how amazing I was doing. During each surge Emma rubbed my back as I was now feeling extreme pressure in my pelvis and lower back and this helped the surges to be more manageable. David held my hand the whole of the labour! I felt so lucky.
My waters broke at 11:48pm and the pool water then became cloudy which became difficult for Emma and Liz to see what was happening with their mirror and torch.
At this point Emma explained that the baby was ready to meet his mummy and daddy (she showed David the line on my lower back that glowed purple which meant baby was ready- no examinations needed ladies!) This gave me a boost of energy and motivation which is what I needed at this stage as I felt tired, calm and sleepy. A few sweets and surges later Emma suggested getting out the pool as she knew the surges would be more intense and it would encourage me to follow my body’s path and get baby out.
I made my way onto the sofa where I took the all fours/ leaning forward position (this was the only position that felt comfortable during every surge). During my pregnancy I practised calm, surge and J (birthing) breathing and I encouraged myself to believe that my baby and my body would work together to get the baby out which had worked very well up until the point of getting the head out.
At this stage I felt the urge to bare down calmly, whilst still using my breathing and within two surges the head appeared still in the sack with his arm and hand next to his head.
David was asked to deliver the baby (this meant letting go of my hand) this encouraged me to get the baby out even quicker as I wanted to be near him. On the next surge I gently pushed following Emma’s verbal lead and within seconds baby Albert was on our sofa at 12:30pm. He was passed under my legs , I turned around and just couldn’t believe that we had done it! My 9 pound 13 baby was finally in my arms. No damage done- amazing considering the size of my baby!
The surges started again which was the placenta trying to make its way out. I wanted a natural delivery of the placenta. I was very uncomfortable in a sitting position at this point so I passed baby to dad and got into a squat position and again after a few surges the Plascenta was out which felt amazing! This also meant I could feed my baby and sit down comfortably in the comfort of my own home.
The next few hours were a blur as I was totally in love all over again. Tea and toast was made for me, I fed baby and had skin to skin time. My placenta was collected by PlacentaPro to make into capsules. The midwifes and David tided up and my front room was spotless again.
After a couple of hours and the checks had been done I made my way upstairs got into my bed and Emma passed me my son where I stayed until the next morning staring at his perfect face (of course I didn’t sleep a wink).
This was honestly the most amazing experience of our lives. If you want to achieve something and you believe in yourself and practise daily you really can have the most amazing experience. I want to take this opportunity to thank Laura from LemonTree Hypnobirthing and mindful breastfeeding for changing our lives. Not only did you enable us to have the most perfect labour but myself and David are more calm and relaxed in general – we aim to enjoy every moment as life goes way too quickly. My family is complete!
My family is complete!
@kayleighslittlesquares 